The Silent City, Where My Tears Fall


It is 1:04 a.m. on Tuesday. Large tears are running down my cheeks, but there is no sound.

There is a silent city, within the city where I have lived for 20 years. The silent city is the place where people are not noticed unless they speak up. Many will not speak up if they are treated badly, because they fear people will not assist them.

It is a city behind the scenes. The city of the broken, the hurting, the battered and the bruised.

It is the silent city of Christians who have experienced, verbal abuse, rejection, blame and neglect from christian leaders and their brothers and sisters in Christ,

It is the place where the hand that helps us up, is only with us for a short time, before they push us down to the bottom again.

In the Silent City we live on the edge of homelessness. Many times we try to move out, but then we are pushed down again.

In this place, the silent city, the tears fall frequently unless we become bitter. Yet, Jesus see’s our tears, our hurting heart and pain heaped upon us from the people in charge in the Silent City.

I live in the silent city in my daily life, except when I am speaking online, through writing, video and podcasts, along with social media. Or when I am traveling to a far away land.

In this place the leaders who oppress the people who live in the Silent City, will occassionally be unable to silence the voices of the abused, rejected and neglected.

The people who reside in the Silent City, help one another. They extend a helping hand, in prayer, and with what little money they may possess.

Yes, the Silent City is real, and it is a place where Jesus resides. It is the place where we are not ashamed of tears, and we stay away from church politics.

You see I chose to live in the Silent City of my city for 10 years. It is time for me to come out of the Silent City. I will speak, and I will not be quiet, for it is time for the Silent City of my city to be heard.

And then…when I have no more words left, it will be time for me to move on. Even if it is necessary to shake the dust off my feet, because no one will listen outside of the walls of the Silent City, I will be at rest. For the only part that is mine to carry out is to be obedient.

In the Silent City we live close to Jesus, because he stretches out his hands, when no one is around to see the large tears falling down our cheeks. We may be flat on our face, or on our knees, not knowing if we will have a roof over our head in a few days, or food to eat. It is in this place where we meet Jesus.

We are not all drug addicts, alcholics or have other addictions. We are the Silent City.

James 2: 1-10  1-4 My dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith. If a man enters your church wearing an expensive suit, and a street person wearing rags comes in right after him, and you say to the man in the suit, “Sit here, sir; this is the best seat in the house!” and either ignore the street person or say, “Better sit here in the back row,” haven’t you segregated God’s children and proved that you are judges who can’t be trusted?

5-7 Listen, dear friends. Isn’t it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the world’s down-and-out as the kingdom’s first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God. And here you are abusing these same citizens! Isn’t it the high and mighty who exploit you, who use the courts to rob you blind? Aren’t they the ones who scorn the new name—“Christian”—used in your baptisms? (The Message)

~Selah~ (Pause)

Nancy Watta

A Temporary Resident of the Silent City in Fort Wayne, Indiana

Copyright, 2017, Nancy J. Watta



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Simply Nancy, Breathing in and Breathing Out

airplane, clouds

A few years ago I returned from a trip and recall my experiences during my travel. There were many joyous moments. As I prepared to return home, I unexpectedly experienced a life defining couple of hours. The experience changed my life forever. It changed how I view life. It changed who I am from the inside out.

On my long flight home I made a decision. I sealed my decision when my feet landed in the USA, and I entered my country.

What was the decision? The decision was to no longer live in the past. It was a decision to appreciate each breath I breathe in and each breath I breathe out.

I understood when I made this decision, there would be people who would never stop trying to drag me back to the past in conversation. Or they would have a long list of plans and expectations for me and my life.

Today expectations of others that bothered me in the past, no longer bother me today.

I refuse to return to live in yesterday, because today is more important. I approach each day to live to be, simply me.

Today, I enjoyed the day, because God gifted me with another day to live. As for tomorrow, I will continue to live in the day, and allow those who desire to bring up the mistakes I made in my life, to live alone in the land of my past. For I am no different than others. Someday I will make a mistake again.

I am standing in a new thing, and not afraid to step into it, with my entire being. Stay tuned my new season is arriving with many surprises.

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 NLT

Reprint from August 22, 2015

When the Lion of Opposition Roars

When the lion of opposition roars we must stand our ground.


When I began to wade into the land of being a public person in a new city, it required me to get over insecurities of living life in a city where I had no history.

It is in this place where the war began to tear at my well being.

The jeolousy of others surfaced from hidden places with attacks with words, which added to my insecurity.

The critics and self-proclaimed coaches moved in to speak words of death over my life. The imperfections of my life were shouted from the mountain tops and passed around behind the scenes.

I recall a time when I walked around the corner and overheard a group of men laughing at my beginning efforts to launch into the land of writing, teaching and travel.

This was the most difficult, because I had no idea they felt this way. I considered them to be my friends.

It is years later as I write this, realizing when the lion roars it is the enemy trying to stop us in our tracks.

The words hurt, but they did not stop me from moving forward. I forgot about this incident, until I was scanning through past writing to use in my future leadership book and stumbled on what I share in this post.

Not long ago, I experienced a similiar situation. Only this time it was not a group, it was a phone conversation that I unintentionally overheard.

I was not mistaken that the conversation was about me. It was a lie, but I let it go, because it is important for me to stay focused on what is more important for me to handle in my life today.

Leadership Point- We must choose our battles wisely, and not allow others to distract us from what is more important.