Writing. It is not always easy. There are times we try to stop our life from pouring from our finger tips to the keys, but we usually are not successful. If we could only write, without exposing our feelings this writing journey would be easier. If we could pour our feelings into our writing and not feel them, it would make our life so much easier too!
Yet, this is not the case for writers is it? Not long ago I published my first book. What was the toughest part of the publishing? In many places in the book I exposed my heart. I exposed my pain. I exposed my struggles. I exposed my tears, my sadness and my joy. I hung it all out for all to see.
When we write this way, there are times it brings a backlash from people around us. Did you need to share that? Isn’t that a bit much? Why are you so transparent? Then the opposing side; Why didn’t you share more? Where is the rest of the story? Why are you not more transparent?
The life of a writer. People read our words and they cause reactions that we have no control over. For that is what a writer does. We cause emotions to surface, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful and the joyful. We are hated. We are loved. We are ignored and we are lavished with attention.
If we are not careful this life can easily become a life that spins us in circles. Yet, if we keep writing, and pour out our heart, whether people love us or hate us, people are reading what we write.
Today I decided to live my day in quiet contemplation. I thought of my trip to Africa a few years ago and 3 others countries. These trips changed my life forever. In fact they changed the way I listen in the U.S.A. They changed what I see as struggle in comparison to those who complain in the U.S.A.
Today after church I made my way to a local McDonald’s, ordered a coffee and a chicken sandwich and found a quiet corner. I sat with my tablet, paper and pen and wrote a few thoughts on what I will be writing on this week.
A young couple sat next to me and we began a conversation about technology. They left and replaced by a family. We also had an interesting conversation and we laughed together. Their grade school children were having problems imagining what life was like before games and smart phones.
Eventually I packed everything up and wished my new friends a good day and made my way to my car. A young man began to chat with me about the weather. I stopped and we laughed and we chatted. As I drove away I thought of the many people who try to take away my joy in this season of my life. They are the ones who want me to live immersed in their struggles and listen 24/7. They forget that those who lead and listen have feelings too. You see this all began a couple of weeks ago when I was hanging out with friends.
In our conversation these were the words that flowed out of my lips, “I have no life, living here.” I am reminded of the same words tonight, I decided I will not feel guilty for taking a break from listening to others in this city.
This is my season, and I am walking into new relationships with a decision to choose joy. With a focus on my family who I love very much.
This morning I opened my eyes at 5:30 a.m. This is very unusual for this late night person. Very seldom to I find myself unable to sleep, but when I do, instead of fighting to go back to sleep, I get up and begin my morning.
Today in the early a.m. I quietly began to make a cup of coffee, no music playing in the background, no voices of others, no contact with the outside world. Just me and my morning, waiting for the sun to rise, knowing then the quiet will disappear.
Yesterday I stumbled across this song and once again today it is speaking to me in the quiet of the morning, intertwined with this verse. A soft prompting reminds me, “Be Still And Know That I Am God.”
30Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
31Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.